Another Wannabe's Laws of Using Character Descriptions

I. Pick three to four distinctive characteristics for each character. At least two of them must be something other than eye color and hair color.

These aren't the only physical characteristics of your character, but they will be the ones the reader will use to draw a rough picture in their mind of what the character looks like. Possibilities: a mole, some acne, stubble, square chin, long nose, weird ears, lanky arms, etc. Other parts of the body can be described but it is only these ones that "distinguish" this person from other people.

II. Repeatedly draw attention to these characteristics as the character does stuff, not just when writing an obligatory character description paragraph.

The player is likely to forget the distinctive features of characters. Therefore, you want to refer back them regularly. Have the character brush aside their black hair from their face, reach out with lanky arms, have their tits bounce as they jump, the sun reflect off their blue eyes, scratch a scar, and on and on. This is an efficient way to write, since it does multiple things a) makes characters a little more memorable b) bring attention to the NPC's mannerisms c) establishes a real physical presence for the NPC. Not only will this make your writing more interesting, but the reader will gradually get a strong idea of what they look like.

III. Drop the description when the player first meets the NPC.

Interactive Fiction has a unique advantage in that the reader can summon up a physical description when they examine the character. However, you still want to describe a new character, because it makes sense that you'd take an appraisal of someone as you meet them. It's annoying if the player is forced to examine a character just to find out what they look like.

IV. Don't use numbers in your description.

Exception: if the PC is the sort of person that would notice someone's measurements just by looking at them. Otherwise, it's weird if you list someone's bust or cup size when "large tits", "ample bosom", "narrow waist" etc would do the job just as well.

V. Efficient character descriptions are better than long and detailed ones.

Good writers are sentence multi-taskers and can do multiple things with fewer words. Take this example.

George is still youngish. He's still got cheeks plump with a bit of baby fat and a mop of unruly, brown hair. His face seems impressed with child-like wonder combined with newly-found adolescent cynicism. At least, he kinda does when he wears his glasses. He has blue eyes.

 Compare it with this:

George still has cheeks plump with baby fat and a mop of unruly, brown hair. His blue eyes carry, in equal measure, innocence and newly-found adolescent cynicism. At least he kinda does when he wears his glasses.

As you can see, the second paragraph deletes both what is implied (George's youth is implied by his cheeks with baby fat) and combines what is necessary (the sentence about his eyes into the paragraph about his expression).

VI. Go forth and write AIF.

Not technically a law of using character descriptions, but all the same. Write more AIF.